Money becoming an issue

Another blog and another rant against a system which is as ludicrous as it is dehumanising.

I've still to hear back about my reconsideration, which could be today or up to another 2 weeks before I hear. The fact that, should be reconsideration be successful, they will backdate the money is not going to help me now. My Income Support form is in but that cna also take up to 2 weeks and so I find myself in a terrible situation - starve or beg for a loan from the very people who have put me in this situation in the first place.

Yes folks, the Crisis Loan looms and whilst it may solve my problems temporarily, it won't solve them in the long term. But there is something deeply sinister about all of this, I feel. I am unable to get a grant as I dont qualify as I will only be looking for food which it appears is very difficult to get and i have tried to get a Crisis Loan before and there are so many hoops to jump through it makes getting one next to impossible.

However what galls me is this: The DWP make a horrendous mistake with regards to my benefits. They drag their feet (deliberately so IMHO) in coming to a response about my reconsideration (I beleive to try and get people to take a different benefit instead so they can refuse you with a clear conscience, although that rather pre-supposes that they have a conscience which i truly doubt) and then place me in a position where I then have to beg for money from them to live on. Money I would then, in the most perverse part of it all, I'd have to pay back once they rectify their error. And the strange thing, is that if I were to treat them as they have treated me I would be at fault whilst they are whiter than white, purer than pure and untouchable.

Corruption is at the very heart of the DWP and personally I believe it needs a serious re-evaluation. Not only in terms of its working practices but also its staff. i personally think that those who have dealt with me at Coatbridge deserve to be fired. But heyl, telling them that will only ensure that I get nothing as they are vindictively petty.

My last blog was the scared man, this blog is the terrified and angry man. But what i truly am is disheartened and to be honest, disillusioned man. Disillusioned with the world and disillusioned with living. Should my reconsideration go against me, given all the distress they have already caused me and knowing that it will sound the death knell on any chance I have of seeing my daughter in the Summer, I just won't go on. My life means very little to these people, but maybe my death might wake them from their callous complacency.