So, just when I think the nightmare might be behind me, that the past is finally buried and that the clouds are lifting, I am reminded at just how much my past will forever haunt me.
I joined a dating site, nothing unusual and actually talked to someone on it. I saw her due to a post that she had given where she disagreed with the notion of child abusers having ot have a sign post in their garden as she felt it would encourage vigilante's. I replied to her saying that i agreed that it could and also there is the possibility that the person was innocent, and in those circumstances they shouldn't be persecuted at all. I intimated that I knew this from personal experience to a degree.
In reply she asked me what that experience was and in my subsequent reply I told her. i told her I had been falsely accused of molesting my daughter, that I was never charged or even arrested but the very notion of an accusation was enough to cause my mental breakdown that I still suffer from to this day.
her reply? That whilst she sympathised with me and hoped I could put it behind me she has children and as such she couldnt take the chance that it might even be remotely true. No smoke without fire she feels.
Is that to be what is left of my life? To live alone because of that? Am I to be assumed guilty by accusation alone (even though there was no evidence to back up the accusation, as no abuse took place)? if so, what is my hope, realistically, of finding any love and happiness in this world if I am to be forever tainted with these lies? And if that is the case, if these lies are to dog me for the rest of my life, then I honestly want my life over. Gone, done, finished.
I dont want to be alone all my life. I dont want to wake up each day to the emptiness. But it appears that due to the lies of one person, I am cursed to that. And right now, its a curse I dont want.
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