Horror - what's the point?

Was looking up Wikipedia, was intrigued at a section of films on their banned list (the old "video nasties"). What seems clear is that most of these films were banned for being sadistically savage and cruel, rather than just because they were horrors.

For me, a real horror doesn't come from gory effects or what new way the film makers have come up with to kill someone off. That is all gore effects and whilst they may revolt, and the idea of it happening be horrific, they are in my opinion lazy horrors.

True horrors, in my opinion, are when you care about the characters. You like them and want them to survive, so when they are put in real peril, you are scared for them. nothing to do with gruesome demises and editing tricks, but good old fashion terror that one feels at the prospect of losing a loved on. it is true psychological horror and I fear we are losing the art form in an attempt to shock the audience with ever more gruesome and sadistic scenes of torture.

Take Hallowwen, for example. There is a film with little blood to it and yet it is genuinely scary. in part its due to the skill of Carpenter's direction but its also because we get to meet these characters, and like them. When they are put in jeopardy, we want them to survive and so we fear their demise. Once that has been established, gore is really not needed.

I also find it sikcening that we have a generation of horror films where the audience are no longer going to see characters they like trying to escape from the killer, supernatural or otherwise. Instead they go to cheer on freddy, jason, Michael and jigsaw as they dispatch another group of faceless, pointless victims for our amusement.

It worries me greatly.

Definitely in a self-loathing kinda mood!

Just spoken to my daughter. I just feel that I ahve lost her. We talk and there appears to be a connection but I'm not sure. maybe I'm so afriad of losing her I'm putting up barriers but it hurts, it hurts so very, very much.

I know I should kick myself and get over it and all that nuttiness but right now I just feel like really taking a razor and going nuts with my veins. Times like this I feel like dying.

Proposition 8 - what a sad day!

And so the California Supreme Court ruling is in and its a mess. On one hand they uphold Prop 8 but they try and appease those they must know they have let down terribly and wrongly by allowing those gay couples who had married prior to the ban to remain married.

Whilst I am happy for those couples, it is sickening that hate and discrimination has won the day in California. Proposition 8 was voted for due in large part to a campaign that used lies, distortions, innaccuracies and exaggerations to try and scare the hell out of the voters. It sadly worked. the judges should have seen through the lies and stayed strong. They didn't.

It is a sad day for justice, common sense and humanity.

Conversation is a killer!

Not having a good day. I guess the truth is I find conversation so difficult. I don't have an easy style, I can't just go up to people and start talking. As for casual remarks and flirty lines, I feel i really need to know the person first so I can be a little stand-offish. partly cos I feel each person is different and deserves respect, and partly cos I figure that they wouldn't want a guy like me being friendly. not talking making offensive or salacious remarks, just everyday conversation I find so very difficult.

Even good friends I find difficult holding conversation with once I'm outside my comfort zone. makes me come across as boring which i guess I am. Just one quirk that's difficult to deal with.

Wish i knew the secret, knew how to tell if someone wants you to approach and talk to them. When it comes to body language I'm completely dyslexic. So i presume they don't unless they make it staggeringl;y obvious, like coming and talking to me.

Guess I'm just wierd.

Call To Arms - Or At Least To Voices!

Angry post this, as it really does upset and annoy me that an entire section of society can be so easily and willfully discriminated against and yet the Government in America seem unwilling to budge.

The need for hate crime legislation in America is sad because it means they must acknowledge that hate crimes go on. But they do, and so legislation is needed. It is time for all people of conscience to stand up for those who are attacked merely for being different. Be it difference in gender, race, physical or mental ability, sexual orientation or religion, hate crimes are a blight on our world.

So I don't care who you are or where you are from or how much influence you ahve on your community or the world at large. get out there and start making the change. This legislation must pass. Help it Please!

Inspiration - so hard to come by!

Trying to get my head into a writing state as I have a scenario for Castle Falkenstein to finish off for a game in June.

It should be a good game as i find CF a great source of scenarios and by setting in America I'm allowing some new jokes to enter (the fact that i am naming all the soldiers in the fort near las Vegas after characters in CSI will get a chuckle or two).

It is easily the best RPG system I own. the others I use regularly are two horror games: Call of Cthulhu and the mighty Kult. I enjoy writing as it helps focus my mind and helps me forget other things. Just hard to get started. Partly cos it not being my computer i know I only have limited time and that doesn't motivate and cos i don't have a computer or internet o my own the net fascinates me. maybe when i'm all comped up the net will be less attractive and I can re-focus. Until then i will work as much as I can.

So why do I like Amber?

This is gonna sound a little on the soppy side but I don't care. Here ar ethe reasons I like Amber:

1) She is incredibly talented. Be it acting, writing, directing, singing, she really does seem to have multiple strings to ehr bow and is good at them all. Plus, she has integrity in her work. yes, you can sometimes tell the parts she has taken just for the money cos its a job but you can see that the work, and good quality work, drives her more than the pay cheque. in this highly materialistic age, she seems refreshingly lacking in materialistic goals and I like that quality. She seems to value people for who they are, not the Dollar value they may bring for her.

2) She is an incredibly nice person. I've had the privilege of meeting ehr twice and what comes acros is something I don't really see from other stars i've met. Amber has this ability to make you feel that she ahs travelled all that way just to meet you. That she is not the celebrity, you are. There is a genuine enthusiasm and warmth in her that immediately puts you at ease. Plus Amber seems to have an amazing memory for faces and often will remember you (as she did me at our second meeting) and that only adds to the warmth. Rather than seeing signings and conventions as a job, she makes it look like an honest excuse to come and meet amazing people (namely the people who are coming to meet her).

3) And this is slightly more personal. I've had a lot of bad breaks in the last few years. Won't give the details but suffice as to say its been tough. I've had ocassion to speak to Amber's Mum Diane and by extension on ocassion Amber herself (this has been through email exchange) and they have been very decent with me at all times and have shown, to a virtual stranger, a level of compassion and concern that really helped me through my toughest times. I doubt they will ever really know how much they helped. Also, the character of Tara (who i identified with a lot), was another source of comfort and to find that Amber shared the same kind of compassion and, dare I say gentleness, that tara did was again a source of comfort in darker times.

So that's why i like her. i like ehr as an artist, as a celebrity, and as a person. She is someone whom, if we were in teh same circles, i would be proud to call a friend. But what i can call ehr is an inspiration and she ahs me as a fan for life.